Sonlight Garden

His Name Is Thomas

Thomas Joseph. It is the name of his grandfathers. Most specifically the name of his Pa-pu, Terry's Dad, who is no longer with us. He is starting to move around a lot. This started about two days ago. It makes me smile. He is not as active as my other babies. I felt the other other babies much earlier. But, I feel him moving and that is all that matters. 

These have not been easy times. I don't expect them to be. I was crying last Sunday at Mass. I am not feeling the joy of the Resurrection, and that in itself makes me very sad.  I am still carrying my cross. I am still suffering. I know His Resurrection makes it possible so that I may be with Thomas someday, and hold him in my arms. For that I am so thankful. 

I have been preparing for a consecration to the Blessed Mother. I am reading the book 33 Days to Morning Glory  by Michael E. Gaitley MIC. This book has been such a comfort to me. Blessed Mother Theresa had this to say about suffering:

Suffering has to come because if you look at the cross, he has got his head bending down-he wants to kiss you- and he has both hands open wide-he wants to embrace you. He has his heart opened wide to receive you. Then when you feel miserable inside, look at the cross and you will know what is happening. Suffering, pain, sorrow, humiliation, feelings of loneliness, are nothing but the kiss of Jesus, a sign that you have come so close that he can kiss you. Do you understand brothers, sisters, or whoever you may be? Suffering, pain, humiliation-this is the kiss of Jesus. At times you come so close to Jesus on the cross that he can kiss you. I once told this to a lady who was suffering very much. She answered, "Tell Jesus not to kiss me -- to stop kissing me." That suffering has to come that came in the life of Our Lady, that came in the life of Jesus -- it has to come in our life also. Only never put on a long face. Suffering is a gift from God. It is between you and Jesus alone inside. ~from 33 Days to Morning Glory.

Suffering. We all go through it. It is necessary. Sometimes, like the lady that Mother Theresa is talking to I just want to say "Really Lord, you can stop now." However, I know I am growing closer and closer to Jesus. To sweetly embrace the cross...I know there will be Glory in all of this someday. I will feel the joy of the Resurrection.

My dear friend handed me this note in Church on Good Friday. These thoughts came to her in prayer.

Dear Kirsten, You are the baby's tabernacle-adorn yourself in glory and honor of this life in you. His life has meaning and purpose. 

I have been meditating and praying on this note. Indeed, his life does have purpose and meaning... however long that life is. So many people pulling together to pray, he is touching lives. And speaking of touching lives, could you pray for my Maternal-Fetal doctor (not my OB) and the genetic counselor? I am praying for there conversion. Both times we have been in there they have asked us about terminating. Even after seeing Thomas moving around on the ultrasound and seeing him touching his hands to his face, they ask. Lord have mercy.

A Boy

>
> Well we had our ultrasound this morning and saw our sweet little boy.
> Unfortunately the encephalocele has gotten bigger and most of the baby's brain is in it. We were told the prognosis is not good. Actually, the likelihood of carrying the the baby to term is not promising. One day at a time.
> Everything else looked great on the ultrasound. The heart was beating strong and the kidneys and bladder looked great, he has ten fingers and toes, just the back of his poor little cranium didn't fuse together. We are so sad, so very sad.
> Thank you for all of your prayers. I know you all will continue prayers for us. They sustain us. Thank you.
> Love,
> Kirsten
>

Lent

My Lent.

We have the slowest ever stomach bug moving through our house. We are going on two weeks. Just when you think it's gone and you disinfect and wash sheets and towels. Wham! It claims it's next victim. It's very stealth this bug. Mary Jane  is our current victim.

Last week when I had three little ones battling the bug is when I started bleeding. I left my sick ones in the care of their big sister and rushed to my OB's office. What a beautiful thing to see and hear that little heartbeat, how gut wrenching it was to hear that there may be something wrong. I have been praying and clinging to the Cross ever since. That is really what Lent is about isn't it? We cling to His cross. We suffer. He increases. We decrease. We grow closer to Our Lord, we feel His love and peace and mercy. And wow, do I really feel His love right now. Lent.

I don't know what the outcome will be for our baby. I do know your prayers are lifting us up. We have so many people praying. Thank you so much for those prayers, they mean so much. (I should have started this post out by thanking you for them. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!)

We go tomorrow for a Nuchal Translucent ultrasound. We are praying the cyst is gone. I will let you all know of course. 

I have been listening to this song non stop. It makes me cry. Carry Me by Audrey Assad.  I love her!

A Baby! and prayers

Dear Friends,
We are asking for prayers. Some of you may know that we are expecting again! Our ninth blessing!! I am almost 12 weeks! Today I had some bleeding and went to the OB. The placenta is a little over the cervix which they expect will correct itself as the pregnancy progresses. The placental has also torn away from the wall a little bit, about an inch, again, with some rest it should heal up. 
The big issue is with the baby. On the ultrasound they saw that the baby has a cystic hygroma on it's neck. Of course I've been googling around on the computer. (Maybe not such a great idea.) When this appears in the early stages of pregnancy the outcome isn't as favorable. The majority of these pregnancies end up in miscarriage about half way through the pregnancy. Also the chance of a genetic abnormality is extremely high, sometimes Turner syndrome, Noonan syndrome, or Downs syndrome. I don't remember all of the percentages right now. My head is swimming. 
I am going to have a nuchal translucent (?) ultrasound soon and they will be able to measure the cyst and look at it a little more closely. I will also have a level two ultrasound at some time. 
My OB knows that we don't want to do anything invasive. 
So we pray. We know that God is in control and that His Divine Will will not take us where His Grace will not follow. If you could pray for strength for us and for our beautiful baby. We are praying for a miracle. It was wonderful to see his or her little arms and legs moving around. He or she was very active and it's heartbeat was very strong! 
We are asking Blessed Margaret of Castello for her intercession as well as St. Gerard.
Thank you for your prayers I know you are all such wonderful prayer warriors and we know that prayer works!

Love,
Kirsten

Walk for Life

On Saturday we participated in a walk for life. I thought it was so fitting on that day. A day when we are reminded just how precious life is. In Catherine's class on Friday they made posters for the walk.

 

This was the first time we have participated in something like this. It was great. There was a really great turnout. I have been told it is usually bigger. It was a cloudy day with a threat of rain. 

 

There was the sweetest nun there. She was so cute and joyful I had to take her picture. Everyone kept walking up to her and saying hello like they new her. I have no idea who she was because we just moved here. But I love her! Isn't she sweet? God bless her.

 

The diocese's Archbishop was there

 

It was a long 3 mile walk. The kids were troopers.

 

 

I knew I liked this guy

We are big Seminole fans in this house. (go noles!) But Tim Tebow you rock! And so does your dear mom. Hats off to Focus on the Family. I can't wait to see this Super Bowl commercial.

WHAT!!?

 This is outrageous. Apparently embryos aren't fertilized. WHAT? At least that is what the "people with the power" believe. The sad thing is that there are going to be some people out there who are going to believe this. Most likely the young Americans who voted for this "change". God help us and have mercy. Read the rest here and watch the video.

HT Elizabeth

For The Unborn

I am writing to ask you to join in on Saturday, May 3rd, 2008, when you can be part of the ONE MILLION ROSARIES FOR UNBORN BABIES prayer event. 

The Saint Michael the Archangel Organization of Memphis, Tennessee is coordinating this prayer event which is designed to have at least one million people throughout the United States pray the Rosary within one particular hour for the following intention: For an end to the surgical and non-surgical killing of unborn babies.

This Rosary Crusade is being sponsored by The Saint Michael the Archangel Organization.  Their website contains more information, including: 1) how to register to be a participant in the ONE MILLION ROSARIES FOR UNBORN BABIES prayer event; and, 2) how a person may promote this pro-life prayer event.  The website address is:

www.SaintMichaelTheArchangelOrganization.org

PLEASE REGISTER AND PUT THIS ON YOUR CALENDAR!  Each prayer is a drop in the bucket, but together we can create of tidal wave of prayer to overwhelm and destroy abortion!  It will take you only about ten seconds to register.  Also, I hope you will be able to promote this prayer event to many other people from now until May 3rd.

You may go to the above-mentioned website to see the count of the number of people who plan on participating in the ONE MILLION ROSARIES FOR UNBORN BABIES prayer event.  The count started on February 4th, 2008.  Hopefully, by May 3rd, 2008, the count will be at least 1,000,000!

Thank you to my friend Mary for forwarding this to me.