I could never thank you enough for all of your prayers and kind words. Your prayers have sustained us.
Im not sure how much of Thomas I should share here. I want to share him with you all because you all have prayed us through this. I want to share him with you because I want to show you just how beautiful and sweet he was. Although he had an imperfect body, he was the most beautiful baby. He was just so sweet. We love him so very very much.
"I see the face of God in your son."-Anesthesiologist
being baptized in the OR
"I am forever changed from having known you sweet little Thomas." -L&D nurse
I wish I could remember what John Paul was saying here.
"You could have ended all of this pain a long time ago, but you chose the heroic unselfish route and gave him life!" - postpartum nurse
the little boys. I love this picture of my three little guys.
It was the most grace filled day. We went to mass together as a family. Good friends of ours who have twelve children took our eight back with them to their house after Mass and Terry and I headed to the hospital. We met with the neonatologist and spoke to him about Thomas’s prognosis. He was concerned that we wouldn’t make it out of the operating room with him. We expressed our concern about making sure Thomas was Baptized and they graciously allowed us to have our priest in the OR, and Father graciously agreed to go in the OR with us. My OB came in and we did an ultrasound to see which way Thomas was presenting. We all prayed together and my OB asked God to direct her hands. All Grace.
We went to the OR and I was prepped. When Terry walked in he told me the children had made it to the hospital and were waiting in the room. I breathed a deep sigh of relief. Soon we would all be together.
Soon after my OB had started the surgery She was saying “Well hello there Thomas! Hey buddy!” She walked around to my side of the curtain and showed me my beautiful boy. He had a ton of hair, just like all of our other babies. She then brought him over to the warmer and he started to cry. It was the most beautiful sound in the world. They cleaned him off and Father went over and Baptized him. They weighed him which was 4lb and 14 oz. Then they brought him over to me and he looked me in the eye. He was so alert and sweet. I held him until they finished sewing me up.
We went back to the room and all of the children were there. I will never forget that moment. They oohed and awwed and cried. They knew every moment we had with him was going to be a gift. That sweet little baby was passed around to each of his siblings and he was awake for all of it! Gosh, he was so strong. Father then said the rest of the Baptismal prayers and Joseph and Julia were made his Godparents. After the children had all gotten their fill of him we put him on my chest, skin to skin, where he stayed. Once he settled on me his heart rate and breathing increased and his color improved. He was definitely happiest on my chest. He almost always had his hand up to his mouth. Just like when he was inutero. In all of his ultrasound pictures he had his hands on his face. Always. When he was around six hours old we decided to give him some food. We didn’t want him to be hungry and we knew that some nutrition would help him. It did. His color further improved. He even made a dirty diaper!
The early morning feeding is when things started to change for him. His coloring wasn’t as good and we stopped after one cc of formula. We put him back on my chest and there he stayed until he passed away. Terry was rubbing his back, and we talked to him. Our sweet little boy.
He was treated with such dignity and respect and care. The hospital staff was wonderful and kind. I am forever grateful for that.
The proudest moment of my life was when I gave birth to this little boy. He has touched numerous lives. More than we will ever see this side of heaven. He is such a sweet little soul. Our Lord must have big plans for him to want such a sweet, pure, spotless little soul. We were graced with his prescence for a little while. We are forever changed.
Please continue to pray for us as we try to go on without him. I can't imagine this, but we must. We miss him so much.
St. Thomas Joseph pray for us!
(Photo credits to the nurses in L&D and Julia)