Sonlight Garden

Once Again

I have been thinking and praying and talking about the choices we have made for our children's education. I have re-read some of my posts and I feel I need to apologize. I pray I have not come across as judgemental or righteous. Especially, when I said "children being away from their parents all day is unnatural." I should have said *my* children being away from *me* all day feels unnatural to *me*. If I have offended anyone or come across as judgemental that was not my intent at all. I am truly sorry if I hurt anyone or made them feel bad. We are all trying to do the best we can for our children with what we have. 

With that being said, after much prayer, many discussions, and lots of tears. We have decided to bring some of the children home. Joe and Julia are going to stay per their request despite some tough challenges they face.(proud of them for not backing down) But Mary Jane, Patrick, and Catherine are coming home after Christmas. This was a tough decision believe it or not. They are all doing really well. They all made the honor roll, they have made friends, and are having fun. I feel bad they are going to miss out on the spelling bee and field day in the spring. But I feel that what they will get here at home, together, far outweighs anything that they could get at *this* school. I still feel like God led us to this school. Truth be told, if we were still in Florida on our little farm we would still be homeschooling. If the opportunity for this school hadn't come along I wouldn't have gone looking for one. Someday we will see the big picture. Right now I am trying to take little baby steps and with each step saying "Jesus, I trust in you", and with each step praying that I am following God's Will for our family. 

I am now once again looking at our homeschool and thinking about what I want our days to look like. I am going to be very careful at what I look at on the world wide web. No good can come from comparing ourselves to others. I am also praying about why that school looked so good to me. Was it self doubt that I wasn't doing a good job? Was it the long exhausting days? Did I not pray enough? Surrender enough? Did I not cherish the Joy that was there each day?

So once again we begin. You just never know where the Lord will lead you, just when you think you have it all figured out! :0)

my little girl

I was thinking I didn't have much to write about. Nothing to exciting to share. Just boxes...blah, blah, blah. They are still here. There are still a lot of them. Who wants to read about that?! 

Well, life happens and suddenly there is a blogortunity. (Don't you just love how you can make new words up with the word blog in it? Like, blogaversary and blogortunity. And you don't even have to worry about your spelling.)

Any way, this child went to the ER yesterday

 

This is the after picture. We just had to stop at Graeters for ice cream after because she was so brave. 

Let me tell you what happened. I was upstairs unloading boxes, of course. My little girl was jumping on the couch. (Which she shouldn't have been doing) One of her siblings, who shall remain nameless, pushed her and down she went into the table next to the couch. She landed just the right way to cut open the back of her head. We headed out to the ER and two staples later she is all better. Catherine was so brave. She did not cry in front of the doctor and nurse. She only shed a couple of tears after the nurse cleaned her wound. Her lips started to pout and she said "Mom, I'm scarwed." (her r's sound like w's) We had a nice talk over that ice cream about following rules and why rules are in place. There is something so precious about 5 year olds, especially this five year old. I am sad she was hurt, but it was so nice to spend that time alone with her. It was an afternoon I will never forget.

Still Waiting

 Well I am still hanging out here. Tomorrow I will be a week overdue. It has been a tough week just waiting here. I am trying to keep myself busy. We celebrated Julia's birthday this week and went on a field trip. We have had a fairly productive week of school. We had a big freeze here this week. I lost my tomato plants and a lot of my flowers :0(  But my lettuce survived. :0)

We butchered a pig today. That was an experience. At first I didn't want to let the kids watch but then Julia brought up  Little House on the Prairie, and the kids playing with the pig bladder. I said there was no way we were going to blow up a pig's bladder. I was going to post pictures but trust me it was not a pretty sight.

 We have done tons of laundry and straightening up. Each time I am done I think. "OK, this is the last time before the baby" But no, not yet. I have more laundry to do today. These last days are hard, especially being overdue. I am anticipating this new little life that will change me once again. Every baby does. I am anticipating how this new little life will change our family. My "baby" Amelia will become a big sister and will look HUGE when I come home from the hospital. I think of this every time I hold and cuddle her. So I sit here and wait for this new life to arrive. I am learning patience big time here. I am also learning to trust and not be anxious. I am trying. I am trying to savor these last days of anticipation, watching my belly move, feeling the baby kick, and knowing that this won't be forever. This is but a small moment in time that I am to take JOY in.

Homeschool and Homelife After Baby (my plan anyway)

Heather asked:  ......have a quick question for you regarding homelife and homeschool...what do you generally do with school after the baby arrives? Do you take a break or do you do limited school? Curious since we will be in the same boat soon and very soon :o). We've generally taken 3 mos. off then started back, year round...but the children had a difficult time this week getting back in the groove, so I was rethinking if that was the best idea. What are your thoughts?

  I was going to respond in the comment section but decided to just write a post instead.

 I am always hesitant to put a plan down in writing. You know the saying...something like.... people make plans and God has his own. Now having said that, this is the "plan". Provided that this delivery goes just as smoothly as my other deliveries and I bounce back just as well, we will take about one to two weeks off from our studies and possibly all extra activities. After that we will pick up where we left off. We have never taken a lot of time off from homeschooling after I have had a baby. In the beginning the baby tends to sleep a lot and that leaves a lot of down time. I have also found that days without a plan and without some activities can lead to some very long days. Now this is not the case all of the time but I have found that the children's days are much happier when they are productive. I have found this especially true with my Patrick (5 1/2yr). The days just go by smoother when things are accomplished.

 My other thoughts are with Joe and Julia. We really can't afford to take a lot of time off right now. With them being older there is more work to be done. We have found a good rhythm and I really don't want to disrupt it.

 I am counting on a lot of help from my older children. (I am sure this baby will never be put down) My husbands work schedule is going to be quite challenging for us soon after the baby is born, so we are going to have to work as a team here. I always tell the older children I couldn't do it without them. And that is the truth! They usually always step up to the plate and pitch in when needed.

 So, that is the plan for us. Prayerfully, my plan and God's Plan are the same!! I am going to bring what I have, my meager efforts, (my loaves and fish) ask God to Bless it, and know that it will "feed" the masses and be sufficient. :0)

Another Blessing!

 Yippeee!  I am 10 weeks today. I had an ultrasound last week and heard and saw our little baby's heartbeat. I cried. This little one is the reason I have not been on the computer to much. I am EXHAUSTED, like never before. And I constantly feel like I am going to toss my cookies. These feelings all kicked in around week 7. But let me tell you, I am so thrilled. With every wave of nausea, with every moment of exhaustion, I smile inside and Praise and Thank God that I am allowed to carry another soul! This pregnancy is a prayer, a prayer of thanksgiving.  So as the house falls apart around me, (because I am so tired) as the children watch way to many videos (because I am so tired) and as far as meals go, well, need I say more... I am smiling inside, and on the outside also. And so very, very, thankful.

An Education Conversation Continued

 The conversation continues over at Elizabeth's blog. Being discussed in more detail is discipline. "Education is a discipline."

By "discipline" Charlotte meant the importance of cultivating good habits in our children-habits that they would then continue into their adult lives. In fact she likened these to good habits to railroad tracks that parents can lay down in their children's lives, allowing the child to run on them smoothly into the future with little thought or effort. -Education is

So many great posts have been contributed to this book study. There is much to think about. As I re-read Education is and read all of the posts, I further think about discipline in my children's lives. I ask the questions. What are each child's strengths or weaknesses? What habits do we need to work on? And most importantly, I think of my own discipline or lack there of. Ouch.

 I am also currently reading theMom Walk by Sally Clarkson. (love her!) I read one part and it just smacked me in the face.

"The more I have studied Scripture, the more I have realized that God designed the role of mother to be one of the most important relationships a child will ever have. How I walk my path as a mother will greatly determine the outcome of my children's souls, relationships, vision for life, and success in their own walk with God." -The Mom Walk

Wow. Forming habits in my child's life is so much bigger than I am. Especially considering my own lack of discipline. But, my consistency will make a difference.  My own discipline will make a difference. But most importantly I realize I can not do this on my own. While I was at Mass on Sunday one of the verses in one of the hymns was "Lord, gently lead my hand." Yes, my Lord!  This has now become my constant prayer.

 "Lord, lead my hand."

( Please excuse the set up of this post, Typepad is not cooperating.)

Wonderful Weekend

The last three days have been super busy, but super great!

Friday: Our diocese had a Festival of Faith called Alive in Christ. It was wonderful. All of the churches from around our diocese were there, as well as all of the different ministries. The Catholic Home Educators even had a booth. There was also an aisle of a lot of different religious orders. It was so wonderful to see so many young nuns and priests. They were so wonderful to talk to. Two particular young nuns that we talked to were just beautiful. They were dressed in full habits and they glowed. They just radiated their love for Jesus and the Church.

We were able to meet Bishop Wenski. We were so excited!! The picture came out horrible but I am posting it anyway!

Saturday: We woke at 6am to get to the fields for soccer games. We had two losses and one win. Everyone had fun and was smiling and laughing regardless. That is what it is all about right? Immediately after the games I ran the two big girls to the ballet school for rehearsals. We have been there a lot these past few weeks getting ready for the school's big performance of "The Enchanted Child". We were done there at 2:30. I came home and milked the cow. I then got ready for a DATE with my HUSBAND. A very good friends daughter came and babysat for us. My hubby took me shopping at the mall and then out to dinner. Needless to say we had a blast. I found some really cute dish towels that I couldn't pass up, they look vintage and I am a sucker for that. I also bought some new shirts for every day.

Sunday: Mother's Day. I was the first one up and had some quiet time on the couch with a cup of coffee. One by one children started rolling downstairs and I received handmade cards galore (the best kind). We went to mass and it was beautiful. I cried the entire time. The absence of my mom this mother's day, is to much to put into words. I love her so much and miss her terribly. During mass I felt the peace of Christ and I was overwhelmed by His Mercy. The Eucharistic Prayers were especially beautiful as this was also Pentecost Sunday. There was a huge beautiful statue of the Blessed Mother on the altar with a wreath of flowers on her head and flowers at her feet. That statue also gave me peace as I am reminded, that Mary my heavenly mother is always watching over me. One of my sister-in-laws called me to see how I was and so did two of my cousins. They are gems. A local friend e-mailed me the most beautiful letter. If you read this, and you know who you are, I want you to know that your letter lifted me up so much. I am truly touched.

And I am truly Blessed.

Bless My Perseverance

Nothing like reading a little St. Josemaria Escriva to get you out of a rut.

" O blessed perseverance of the donkey that turns the waterwheel! Always the same pace. Always around the circle. One day after another, everyday the same.

Without that there would be no ripeness in the fruit, nor blossom in the orchard, nor scent of flowers in the garden. Carry this thought to your interior life." -St. Josemaria Escriva

Wow. I am doing important work here. I know this, but sometimes I do need a reminder. My day in day out is important. It may seem monotonous, the never ending laundry piles as I think to myself "Didn't I just wash this T-shirt?" The constant meal preparations, as someone is always hungry. Sweeping the always dirty floor. Reading the same book over and over to two little preschoolers. Sometimes it seems never ending but it is valuable. What makes it so valuable is how I do it. How do I handle my day in day out?

I have to tell you, It seems I have been walking around my home lately, not really getting much accomplished. I think a lot of it has to do with the disorder around here. I am not quite sure when or why it happened, but it did. It is not an obvious disorder to the outsider, but it is so to me. It is glaring me in the face and it feels like a huge mountain that I need to climb. I realize I am the one who has to fix this. I am the one who has to restore the order. Why? Because I am a wife and a mom and it is my job. It is my "waterwheel" to turn. It can either be well oiled and my walk will be light; meaning I can have a smooth running orderly household. Or it can be full of dirt and pebbles and hard to turn, it will be hard to keep my pace and be constant. I will surely tire out.

I have started looking at how I spend my days. What do I spend my time doing? The answer? I am basically moving "stuff" around all day, mainly clothes and toys. We have to many. So, I have been purging. I am filling trash bags with things to donate and to throw away. I have gone through all of our clothes and the girls room so far. I started to do the girls room and I was overwhelmed at the number of toys and clothes and shoes. If I am overwhelmed, how must they feel? No wonder they have had a hard time keeping their room picked up. The most surprising thing to me has been the girls reaction when I started to reduce things. They have been very generous in their giving. They want peace and order also. Children need this! I think of this and I persevere.

This "circle" that I "walk" everyday is valuable. I am growing my own "fruit". I want them to blossom and grow and ripen. I want there scent to be beautiful!!

The Details

We are reading Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder. The children have to write a book report that we send in to Seton. In the book report they want us to focus on the aspects of the Ingall's life as a Christian family, how their faith held them together, how they served each other, how Pa led their family, etc. As I read this book along with the children and I pull out some of the key points to highlight I am amazed. Not by Pa and how he led his family, but by Ma.

Ma paid a great attention to detail in a time when detail didn't really matter. It was all about survival back then. But she took the extra effort to make things pretty. Laura wrote "Ma always liked a pretty table." For instance in the winter when the cows were not able to eat fresh grass the cream in the milk was white, not yellow like in the spring and summer. Well what did Ma do? She went through this big long process of coloring the cream with carrots so she would have nice yellow butter. She would grate the carrots and then cook them down in milk, let the mixture cool, strain the mixture and add the yellow milk to the churn. Not only this, when the butter was ready she put it in pretty little butter molds with a strawberry on it. I ask myself Why? Why would she go through the trouble? She worked hard everyday. She had to or they would not survive. Why did she go above and beyond her duties, the necessities. She wasn't having company. She didn't have any one to impress. However, she did make an impression on her little daughter. She did all of this for them, for her family. All of the little extra touches. The things that make a house a home. This was how she served them. This was how she loved them. This is a Mother.

I also think of my own beautiful mother. My mom was the queen of details. My brothers and I grew up in a beautiful home. Not a pretentious home, but a beautiful, cozy, modest home. She definitely made the extra effort. Picnics outside in the summer evenings. Sunday dinners were always in the dining room with a pressed tablecloth. There were candles and music. The lights were dimmed. My brothers and I  drank our milk out of wine glasses. We talked and laughed and came together as a family. It was special. It was fun. She made us feel special. I could go on and on. I didn't realize then as I do now; now that I have my own family, that the details take a lot of work. Again, why did my mom do all of this, make all of this extra work for herself? Because she loved us! I will never ever forget those details.

Reading about Ma Ingalls and thinking about my own mother make me think about how I serve my family. What little extra touches do I do for them? What are the little things that I do to show my family love? Am I just going through the motions because it is my "job" as wife and mother? Am I to busy to add the extra touches and make the extra effort? Am I giving them all that I have?

Our God is a God of detail and God is in the details!

Mothering Tip #123

When potty training make sure you have a bag of these around. (aka incentive) Well this, and a couple of packages of brand new undies. That is how we do it around here!