Sonlight Garden

Still Waiting

 Well I am still hanging out here. Tomorrow I will be a week overdue. It has been a tough week just waiting here. I am trying to keep myself busy. We celebrated Julia's birthday this week and went on a field trip. We have had a fairly productive week of school. We had a big freeze here this week. I lost my tomato plants and a lot of my flowers :0(  But my lettuce survived. :0)

We butchered a pig today. That was an experience. At first I didn't want to let the kids watch but then Julia brought up  Little House on the Prairie, and the kids playing with the pig bladder. I said there was no way we were going to blow up a pig's bladder. I was going to post pictures but trust me it was not a pretty sight.

 We have done tons of laundry and straightening up. Each time I am done I think. "OK, this is the last time before the baby" But no, not yet. I have more laundry to do today. These last days are hard, especially being overdue. I am anticipating this new little life that will change me once again. Every baby does. I am anticipating how this new little life will change our family. My "baby" Amelia will become a big sister and will look HUGE when I come home from the hospital. I think of this every time I hold and cuddle her. So I sit here and wait for this new life to arrive. I am learning patience big time here. I am also learning to trust and not be anxious. I am trying. I am trying to savor these last days of anticipation, watching my belly move, feeling the baby kick, and knowing that this won't be forever. This is but a small moment in time that I am to take JOY in.

Homeschool and Homelife After Baby (my plan anyway)

Heather asked:  ......have a quick question for you regarding homelife and homeschool...what do you generally do with school after the baby arrives? Do you take a break or do you do limited school? Curious since we will be in the same boat soon and very soon :o). We've generally taken 3 mos. off then started back, year round...but the children had a difficult time this week getting back in the groove, so I was rethinking if that was the best idea. What are your thoughts?

  I was going to respond in the comment section but decided to just write a post instead.

 I am always hesitant to put a plan down in writing. You know the saying...something like.... people make plans and God has his own. Now having said that, this is the "plan". Provided that this delivery goes just as smoothly as my other deliveries and I bounce back just as well, we will take about one to two weeks off from our studies and possibly all extra activities. After that we will pick up where we left off. We have never taken a lot of time off from homeschooling after I have had a baby. In the beginning the baby tends to sleep a lot and that leaves a lot of down time. I have also found that days without a plan and without some activities can lead to some very long days. Now this is not the case all of the time but I have found that the children's days are much happier when they are productive. I have found this especially true with my Patrick (5 1/2yr). The days just go by smoother when things are accomplished.

 My other thoughts are with Joe and Julia. We really can't afford to take a lot of time off right now. With them being older there is more work to be done. We have found a good rhythm and I really don't want to disrupt it.

 I am counting on a lot of help from my older children. (I am sure this baby will never be put down) My husbands work schedule is going to be quite challenging for us soon after the baby is born, so we are going to have to work as a team here. I always tell the older children I couldn't do it without them. And that is the truth! They usually always step up to the plate and pitch in when needed.

 So, that is the plan for us. Prayerfully, my plan and God's Plan are the same!! I am going to bring what I have, my meager efforts, (my loaves and fish) ask God to Bless it, and know that it will "feed" the masses and be sufficient. :0)

Another Blessing!

 Yippeee!  I am 10 weeks today. I had an ultrasound last week and heard and saw our little baby's heartbeat. I cried. This little one is the reason I have not been on the computer to much. I am EXHAUSTED, like never before. And I constantly feel like I am going to toss my cookies. These feelings all kicked in around week 7. But let me tell you, I am so thrilled. With every wave of nausea, with every moment of exhaustion, I smile inside and Praise and Thank God that I am allowed to carry another soul! This pregnancy is a prayer, a prayer of thanksgiving.  So as the house falls apart around me, (because I am so tired) as the children watch way to many videos (because I am so tired) and as far as meals go, well, need I say more... I am smiling inside, and on the outside also. And so very, very, thankful.

An Education Conversation Continued

 The conversation continues over at Elizabeth's blog. Being discussed in more detail is discipline. "Education is a discipline."

By "discipline" Charlotte meant the importance of cultivating good habits in our children-habits that they would then continue into their adult lives. In fact she likened these to good habits to railroad tracks that parents can lay down in their children's lives, allowing the child to run on them smoothly into the future with little thought or effort. -Education is

So many great posts have been contributed to this book study. There is much to think about. As I re-read Education is and read all of the posts, I further think about discipline in my children's lives. I ask the questions. What are each child's strengths or weaknesses? What habits do we need to work on? And most importantly, I think of my own discipline or lack there of. Ouch.

 I am also currently reading theMom Walk by Sally Clarkson. (love her!) I read one part and it just smacked me in the face.

"The more I have studied Scripture, the more I have realized that God designed the role of mother to be one of the most important relationships a child will ever have. How I walk my path as a mother will greatly determine the outcome of my children's souls, relationships, vision for life, and success in their own walk with God." -The Mom Walk

Wow. Forming habits in my child's life is so much bigger than I am. Especially considering my own lack of discipline. But, my consistency will make a difference.  My own discipline will make a difference. But most importantly I realize I can not do this on my own. While I was at Mass on Sunday one of the verses in one of the hymns was "Lord, gently lead my hand." Yes, my Lord!  This has now become my constant prayer.

 "Lord, lead my hand."

( Please excuse the set up of this post, Typepad is not cooperating.)

Wonderful Weekend

The last three days have been super busy, but super great!

Friday: Our diocese had a Festival of Faith called Alive in Christ. It was wonderful. All of the churches from around our diocese were there, as well as all of the different ministries. The Catholic Home Educators even had a booth. There was also an aisle of a lot of different religious orders. It was so wonderful to see so many young nuns and priests. They were so wonderful to talk to. Two particular young nuns that we talked to were just beautiful. They were dressed in full habits and they glowed. They just radiated their love for Jesus and the Church.

We were able to meet Bishop Wenski. We were so excited!! The picture came out horrible but I am posting it anyway!

Saturday: We woke at 6am to get to the fields for soccer games. We had two losses and one win. Everyone had fun and was smiling and laughing regardless. That is what it is all about right? Immediately after the games I ran the two big girls to the ballet school for rehearsals. We have been there a lot these past few weeks getting ready for the school's big performance of "The Enchanted Child". We were done there at 2:30. I came home and milked the cow. I then got ready for a DATE with my HUSBAND. A very good friends daughter came and babysat for us. My hubby took me shopping at the mall and then out to dinner. Needless to say we had a blast. I found some really cute dish towels that I couldn't pass up, they look vintage and I am a sucker for that. I also bought some new shirts for every day.

Sunday: Mother's Day. I was the first one up and had some quiet time on the couch with a cup of coffee. One by one children started rolling downstairs and I received handmade cards galore (the best kind). We went to mass and it was beautiful. I cried the entire time. The absence of my mom this mother's day, is to much to put into words. I love her so much and miss her terribly. During mass I felt the peace of Christ and I was overwhelmed by His Mercy. The Eucharistic Prayers were especially beautiful as this was also Pentecost Sunday. There was a huge beautiful statue of the Blessed Mother on the altar with a wreath of flowers on her head and flowers at her feet. That statue also gave me peace as I am reminded, that Mary my heavenly mother is always watching over me. One of my sister-in-laws called me to see how I was and so did two of my cousins. They are gems. A local friend e-mailed me the most beautiful letter. If you read this, and you know who you are, I want you to know that your letter lifted me up so much. I am truly touched.

And I am truly Blessed.

Bless My Perseverance

Nothing like reading a little St. Josemaria Escriva to get you out of a rut.

" O blessed perseverance of the donkey that turns the waterwheel! Always the same pace. Always around the circle. One day after another, everyday the same.

Without that there would be no ripeness in the fruit, nor blossom in the orchard, nor scent of flowers in the garden. Carry this thought to your interior life." -St. Josemaria Escriva

Wow. I am doing important work here. I know this, but sometimes I do need a reminder. My day in day out is important. It may seem monotonous, the never ending laundry piles as I think to myself "Didn't I just wash this T-shirt?" The constant meal preparations, as someone is always hungry. Sweeping the always dirty floor. Reading the same book over and over to two little preschoolers. Sometimes it seems never ending but it is valuable. What makes it so valuable is how I do it. How do I handle my day in day out?

I have to tell you, It seems I have been walking around my home lately, not really getting much accomplished. I think a lot of it has to do with the disorder around here. I am not quite sure when or why it happened, but it did. It is not an obvious disorder to the outsider, but it is so to me. It is glaring me in the face and it feels like a huge mountain that I need to climb. I realize I am the one who has to fix this. I am the one who has to restore the order. Why? Because I am a wife and a mom and it is my job. It is my "waterwheel" to turn. It can either be well oiled and my walk will be light; meaning I can have a smooth running orderly household. Or it can be full of dirt and pebbles and hard to turn, it will be hard to keep my pace and be constant. I will surely tire out.

I have started looking at how I spend my days. What do I spend my time doing? The answer? I am basically moving "stuff" around all day, mainly clothes and toys. We have to many. So, I have been purging. I am filling trash bags with things to donate and to throw away. I have gone through all of our clothes and the girls room so far. I started to do the girls room and I was overwhelmed at the number of toys and clothes and shoes. If I am overwhelmed, how must they feel? No wonder they have had a hard time keeping their room picked up. The most surprising thing to me has been the girls reaction when I started to reduce things. They have been very generous in their giving. They want peace and order also. Children need this! I think of this and I persevere.

This "circle" that I "walk" everyday is valuable. I am growing my own "fruit". I want them to blossom and grow and ripen. I want there scent to be beautiful!!

The Details

We are reading Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder. The children have to write a book report that we send in to Seton. In the book report they want us to focus on the aspects of the Ingall's life as a Christian family, how their faith held them together, how they served each other, how Pa led their family, etc. As I read this book along with the children and I pull out some of the key points to highlight I am amazed. Not by Pa and how he led his family, but by Ma.

Ma paid a great attention to detail in a time when detail didn't really matter. It was all about survival back then. But she took the extra effort to make things pretty. Laura wrote "Ma always liked a pretty table." For instance in the winter when the cows were not able to eat fresh grass the cream in the milk was white, not yellow like in the spring and summer. Well what did Ma do? She went through this big long process of coloring the cream with carrots so she would have nice yellow butter. She would grate the carrots and then cook them down in milk, let the mixture cool, strain the mixture and add the yellow milk to the churn. Not only this, when the butter was ready she put it in pretty little butter molds with a strawberry on it. I ask myself Why? Why would she go through the trouble? She worked hard everyday. She had to or they would not survive. Why did she go above and beyond her duties, the necessities. She wasn't having company. She didn't have any one to impress. However, she did make an impression on her little daughter. She did all of this for them, for her family. All of the little extra touches. The things that make a house a home. This was how she served them. This was how she loved them. This is a Mother.

I also think of my own beautiful mother. My mom was the queen of details. My brothers and I grew up in a beautiful home. Not a pretentious home, but a beautiful, cozy, modest home. She definitely made the extra effort. Picnics outside in the summer evenings. Sunday dinners were always in the dining room with a pressed tablecloth. There were candles and music. The lights were dimmed. My brothers and I  drank our milk out of wine glasses. We talked and laughed and came together as a family. It was special. It was fun. She made us feel special. I could go on and on. I didn't realize then as I do now; now that I have my own family, that the details take a lot of work. Again, why did my mom do all of this, make all of this extra work for herself? Because she loved us! I will never ever forget those details.

Reading about Ma Ingalls and thinking about my own mother make me think about how I serve my family. What little extra touches do I do for them? What are the little things that I do to show my family love? Am I just going through the motions because it is my "job" as wife and mother? Am I to busy to add the extra touches and make the extra effort? Am I giving them all that I have?

Our God is a God of detail and God is in the details!

Mothering Tip #123

When potty training make sure you have a bag of these around. (aka incentive) Well this, and a couple of packages of brand new undies. That is how we do it around here!

Special Time

  Each one of my children are very well loved. One of the benefits of growing up in a big family are the relationships. Big sisters smooching on the little ones, the little ones smooching back. Big brother helping little brother build Lego's. There are make believe games of "Little House on the Prairie" outside. There is always interaction. Most of the time it is good. Sometimes bad. There is quarreling, but that allows for forgiveness and more love.

I know that my children are growing up in a wonderful healthy home. I know that they live in a home where their Mommy and Daddy love each other. And I do know that they know they are loved very much by their parents and their Creator. But sometimes I will lay in bed at night and think that one of my children got lost in the shuffle?  It breaks my heart when this happens. The mommy in me will feel that separation. And I want to kick myself because a day went by when I just became so busy with everything going on that each child did not receive that focused attention from mommy. When this happens I vow that tomorrow will be different, and it is. Thank God. But every once in a while it will creep back in. I then realize I need to refocus. I refocus my attention from the outside world and turn inward to my home, my family, my children, my vocation.

When thinking about how each child gets that one on one time with mom, that focused attention from me. I look at my day and pull in each child. These are some of the things that I do or have done

• Assigned "Dinner Helper" Each child has a different night of the week. They are in the kitchen with me helping me make dinner. We talk and laugh. They are also learning kitchen skills! A big bonus.
• I usually take my earliest riser out with me to do our outside morning chores. (This is usually with my Patrick.) This is my favorite time because the new day is starting and it is quiet.
• Another one of my favorite times are with my girls. I started this this year. Daddy will take the boys to scouts and that is when the girls and I will do some handicrafts. We have yummy snacks and pick out something to make. The key to making this time special is that I myself do not make anything. I am not focused on my own craft so I am available to help them.

• If I have the opportunity to go to the store by myself, I usually don't. I will grab a child to go with me. Just recently, I had gotten a babysitter to go to an antique festival nearby. I ended up bringing my oldest, Joseph, with me. We had blast!! I had more fun with him than when I had gone by myself in the past.
• Homeschooling in general lends lots of opportunity to have one on one time. Lessons that need extra explaining. Hearing each child read. Making time for read-alouds for the younger ones.
• And of course at bed time. Each child gets that special hug and kiss. Prayers are said. A special blessing is given. They are loved. This is natural and unplanned and special.

One thing I have noticed is that when I make myself totally available to my children, when I am not distracted by the telephone and the computer and the outside world, they receive what they need. There is no thought involved in how they get their one on one time whatsoever. It is how it should be. I am there for them and they for me. Those are the best days!

Open To Life

Being open to life has always been easy for us. My husband and I have always wanted a house full of children. We have thankfully never had any fertility issues and overall I have had relatively good pregnancies. We have been blessed. Really  blessed with six beautiful children. Saying "yes" to God has been simple. Sometimes exhausting with six children in nine years. But over all simple and easy. No problem.

I love my big family. Even with all of the work and chaos, I love it. I have learned to deal with the looks and comments by others when we go out. The looks that say "Have you lost your mind?" Catching them count my children with their eyes. Or the comments, " Are they ALL yours?" I had one woman ask the "are they all yours" question, and then she looked me in the eye for a very long time and said "Just wait until they are teenagers. Good luck with that!" These comments always baffle me. I really do have sweet children. Overall they are really well behaved when we go out.

When asked the question "Do you want more?" I would answer quietly as to not draw anymore attention. "Well, yes. We are open to life." After the offending commenter leaves I always assure the children that we feel so blessed to have each and every one of them.  And that unfortunately these days, our society does not value children as they should. They have lost site that children are a huge blessing from God and the most wonderful gift in the world! As Blessed Mother Theresa says "How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are to many flowers..."

I have just recently had two very close miscarriages. The first on the night of my beloved mothers memorial mass. and the second on my daughters 9th birthday. My meek, quiet "yes" to God was met with "No, not now." My husband and I are hugely saddened by these losses. We have wept over these babies that we will not get to hold in this lifetime. But I trust He knows best, and my prayer is "Jesus, I trust in You." I truly, truly know now. To the depths of my soul. Children are a HUGE blessing. The greatest gift we could ever hope to receive. We are not in control of life. We can not say when we want that life to happen. Our society would like us to think the opposite. The Author of life, our Almighty and Merciful God determines when. He knows best.

Now when asked the question by others "Do you want more?" I realize I am also answering God. And my meek "well, yes" is replaced with a resounding "YES! Yes, we absolutely want more. They are a gift and the biggest blessing."